After office hour ends today I still online chatting with Amy via MSN. She's a weirdo an interesting girl.
Asked her: wat do u seek in a relationship?
Answer: i don't mind if he doesn't love me in return or don't give me good stuff...as long as he doesn't use me or treat me bad then i m ok lor
Well, I asked about what she seek in a relationship, but her answers focus on her partner. So what does this tell us? Simple.
1- She already got a relationship, this already known.
2- Expectation of the partner and the expectation from the partner is something that is still, to a certain extent may be bothering her.
If you already have a relationship, you won't rationalized why you have one. Because you already have it. What ever desire, imagination, want that you have not put into words or well defined before now you already may have gained it. So it is rather hard to think of it. But if a person that has no relationship, like the humble me, then he or she can tell. What one wants from a relationship. Companion? Feeling of existence? Feeling of being important? Need be love? Need giving love yada yada yada?
People don't get a relationship just for sake of getting a relationship. All our moves has motivation behind. We may not realized it, but it did exist. Even the most irresponsible playboy has a rational - having fun perhaps? Or the most traditional Ah-Pek thinking guy - breed?
If someone already have a relationship. Then things get a bit trickier. You see, prior to that, you may have imagine your relationship will be so and so. You have an ideal based on your taste and want. But since we don't have a custom build partner, the one you get may not fulfill all your hidden desire. What worse, they have their own ideal as well. It is when our ideal is not fulfilled, we starting to expect from the other. Expect them to do this do that, behave like this, look like that yada yada yada.
Expectation leads to disappointment and when you have enough of it, you will start to change the person, moulding them to be you ideal puppet. And this is a fucking terrible mistake.
People can't be changed by force. Change in people's behaviour and mind must happen unexpectedly, gradually, from the inside. We can't force ourselves to be what we are not and we certainly won't able to do that to others.
Sad thing is, most people in a relationship think they are so great that they can do it. Some are stupid enough to force it through and then boasted it to their "brothers" or "sisters". How wrong they are.
At the end, either thing get a violent turn and they go separate ways, or they finally see through it, and compromised. Yes, compromise will be the key. It is not denial of what you are. But respect the difference and give some space.
Don't ever dream of the Miss or Mr Right that pit perfectly with you. There are billions of human around the globe, the really right one may be hunting a wild boar in the Amazon right now. Most of the relationship success because they decided to get or accept the partner and work out the difference between them.
There is no a big WE in a relationship. There must be a Me, You and WE.
I can see it more logically when I am not in a relation. When we are succumbed into it. Who can really see? Love is not blind, just severe short-sightedness.
Asked her: wat do u seek in a relationship?
Answer: i don't mind if he doesn't love me in return or don't give me good stuff...as long as he doesn't use me or treat me bad then i m ok lor
Well, I asked about what she seek in a relationship, but her answers focus on her partner. So what does this tell us? Simple.
1- She already got a relationship, this already known.
2- Expectation of the partner and the expectation from the partner is something that is still, to a certain extent may be bothering her.
If you already have a relationship, you won't rationalized why you have one. Because you already have it. What ever desire, imagination, want that you have not put into words or well defined before now you already may have gained it. So it is rather hard to think of it. But if a person that has no relationship, like the humble me, then he or she can tell. What one wants from a relationship. Companion? Feeling of existence? Feeling of being important? Need be love? Need giving love yada yada yada?
People don't get a relationship just for sake of getting a relationship. All our moves has motivation behind. We may not realized it, but it did exist. Even the most irresponsible playboy has a rational - having fun perhaps? Or the most traditional Ah-Pek thinking guy - breed?
If someone already have a relationship. Then things get a bit trickier. You see, prior to that, you may have imagine your relationship will be so and so. You have an ideal based on your taste and want. But since we don't have a custom build partner, the one you get may not fulfill all your hidden desire. What worse, they have their own ideal as well. It is when our ideal is not fulfilled, we starting to expect from the other. Expect them to do this do that, behave like this, look like that yada yada yada.
Expectation leads to disappointment and when you have enough of it, you will start to change the person, moulding them to be you ideal puppet. And this is a fucking terrible mistake.
People can't be changed by force. Change in people's behaviour and mind must happen unexpectedly, gradually, from the inside. We can't force ourselves to be what we are not and we certainly won't able to do that to others.
Sad thing is, most people in a relationship think they are so great that they can do it. Some are stupid enough to force it through and then boasted it to their "brothers" or "sisters". How wrong they are.
At the end, either thing get a violent turn and they go separate ways, or they finally see through it, and compromised. Yes, compromise will be the key. It is not denial of what you are. But respect the difference and give some space.
Don't ever dream of the Miss or Mr Right that pit perfectly with you. There are billions of human around the globe, the really right one may be hunting a wild boar in the Amazon right now. Most of the relationship success because they decided to get or accept the partner and work out the difference between them.
There is no a big WE in a relationship. There must be a Me, You and WE.
I can see it more logically when I am not in a relation. When we are succumbed into it. Who can really see? Love is not blind, just severe short-sightedness.
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