心血來潮

心血來潮．怎說呢？

最近電視正熱播著中國版的『倚天屠龍記』．受其影響，把三年前買了還沒看的１９７７年修訂版的『倚天屠龍記』小說來看．

看著看著，卻不知怎麼的，突然間好想再看看一些佛學書．所以又把若干年前向朋友借回來但忘了歸還的兩本蔡志忠的漫畫版『心經』和『六祖壇經』來翻閱．

於此同時，又覺得是時候收拾一下辦公室裡的抽屜和我的房間．辦公室的抽屜，我今早就搞定了．本打算在週末才相我房間下手．『倚天屠龍記』．不過就在晚飯過後，看完電視版的『倚天屠龍記』後，突然沒甚麼心情再繼續看電視．

打開了去年買的『倪匡說三道四』，看了一小半，卻再也忍不住了，把書本放下，取出抹布開始打掃起來．

就這麼的一口氣做到凌晨一點，才只完成了一半．不過房間相比之前都比較像是有個活人住在內的樣子．剩下的一半，只好留到週末吧！

寫到這裡，突然想起那麼一下子回有機回心血來潮之前都發生過好幾次．每次都在我的興趣要換季的時候．

我的興趣在一年內會換機次，雖然換來換去都離不開書，電影，動畫，電動，玩具，酒．那也好過永遠都是獨孤一味那麼單調．
看來即將來臨的是‘中文書籍’吧！

不然的話怎麼會心血來潮的以中文寫部落客呢？哈哈哈哈！

Weeks of Hell

It's been a long time since the last update.

What took me so long? Laziness? Business?

Can't say for sure.

What I was hired to do, has went live now.

I am actually doing what I was hired to do.

Unlike the past 6 months, doing random task, now I'm doing what I am suppose to do.

Unforeseen incidents, a few of them happened during the eleventh hour of the transition.

Trainer got sick, system got sick, colleagues got sick and even the consultant far in South Africa got sick.

Diu!

Trainer got sick, mean we had no direction. What to do, when to do, how to do is never properly communicated to us.

System got sick, mean that we can't even do whatever that we can do, within our limited knowledge, due to the absence of our trainer.

Colleagues got sick, meaning we have to do her part, a totally different role, but still time consuming, and ate away a lot of our time and focus.

Consultant got sick, meaning the second person after the trainer that can help up is not available and basically we are running in the dark abyss of nothingness.

Worse, it was the last week for the consultants. After that they are here no more.

Last two weeks was like hell. But I kind of like it.

My job is very transactional based, in other words, it may tend to be repetitive and boring.

Give me problem, give me issues, and then things will get more interesting.

Hahahaha~

Nothing To Do

When you are working, you wanna go home.
When you are home doing nothing,
you'll say, better of go work.
When you are diong nothing, you wanna do thing.
When you actually do thing...
you say to yourself...
"Are you mental?"

K Session, Tea and Toys!

So, XP birthday has long passed, and we finally get to sing K after postponing it for a week. Well, there was a celebration on the very day of birth in Phuture, but then two very busy person can't make it and thus this K session.

Surprisingly, the K session was arranged to start at 11 am, K Lunch. Hmm...this is a bit strange. K lunch is more like my Klang gang's style. But these clubbing jokers...can they make it? This thought just flashed through my mind, and I didn't even consider the odds. Since they already set it, then 11 am it is.

As usual, I am every punctual, or considered punctual. A dude already been calling me when I was busy looking for parking, but alas, my sharp eyes never failed me. It is 11.15 and I thought I am late. How wrong I am. I called back the dude and he told me he has arrived, but just received a call saying the time change to 12~!

OMG 12, some 45 minutes ler still have to wait. Reason, haha...just like it crossed my mind, the the birthday girl and a few more clubbed till morning, and were home around 5. Well, although I did not expected it, but I was not at all surprise. Then wait it is, no hard feeling, never.

Anyway, we had a nice K session and tea after that at Kim Gary. Best part is, I got to buy two more toys after we parted ways~!!! Wahahaha~!

The End Is The Begining Is The End

So, it ended. After more than 3 years, it ended. And the way it ends, pretty nice.

I always think, if this world is going to be destroyed, Armageddon arrives, wouldn't it be cool if I'm here to witness it? Wouldn't it be cool for die the every same day, same time the Earth collapse? Well, the planet still have many years to live, but not KL CSO.

Tomorrow, March 31st 2009 will mark the end of the Great KL CSO. We will be replaced by some cheap labour new talent in China. It will be my every last day with Lenovo, being the victim of this mindless painful restructuring. So, the very last day of mine will be the very last day of the department, and most of the colleague as well.

I think I like it this way better, at least I won't feel the loneliness when leaving alone, like all those who have resigned to venture into new opportunity before this. At the last, day, having busy packing and settling some documentation, at the strike of 5, leaving the office alone, although a few close friends may see you off...somehow I think it will be a lonely walk.

But now it's different. The whole bloody department is going. Where we mourn of the lost of one colleague when he or she resign, now we all celebrate our final hours together and no matter how gray the future maybe, how bad the new job will be, how exciting the next role is, we know, that somewhere someone you know, is experiencing the exact same thing you are having, and to survive, we will live through any difficulty.

At the last minutes, I got an offer and accept it. It offer a lot less than I have now, but looking back, what I have currently is actually rather extraordinary. It was a sudden leap, and if it was increasing as per standard pace, the offer I get now is actually an improvement. Thinking like this, although in future I may not live exactly as now (cut down on toys) but at least I still have something. The offer is not entirely bad though.

Of course, being a greedy evil lad, I am always open and eager to get better job. But until then, I see no harm taking this. At this time, getting a job is a blessing. At least I'm not a PhD trying to get a cleaner's job.

Like I always advice; don't think of what you don't have and couldn't get, focus on what you already have. Cherish what we have now, there's a reason why fate give it to us.

Countdown To Long Vacation

Ah~ March alas...

This will be my very last month in Lenovo. The countdown begins. After 3 years in this company, now they decided to ditch us to employ so cheaper workers from a third world country rising economy player.

A preview in the form of a con-call on January and a month later, a simple briefing session, and simple monotonic cold letter or termination as a token of gratitude. We are going to be free, and poor.

In the final month, despite the fiscal and quarter end, which will promise us a lot of workload, we will have to concentrate to train some anonymous boozoo from an exotic commie country. Rather a strange feel, we need to teach them support them properly so that they can take over our job. Do the dudes in higher management really think we will give them all? Process is dead, method is crafted from experience.

For a nation that created fake eggs and poisonous milk (how oxymoron), they sure have some great method. Good luck Lenovo. Bad move!

But as I have told a friend, there was time when I feel terribly demotivated to work and think of resigning before getting a new job (that is before this retrenchment) and get a rest for about a month or so. Reason for not doing it, is I need to feed my car, and there are peoples, friends in this company that I like to see constantly. So, I kind of take this retrenchment as a divine intervention that enables me to take a short break and rest...Somehow, I feel better this way.

Feast of DVDs

Got eliminated, have to save a bit, although it's rather impossible. The best way I could think of is the head straight to home after work, not go walk walk or shopping. So far, it kind of works.

It works, because I have equipped myself with a large amount of DVDs. I'm trying to finish of Transformers : Masterforce anime series my brother bought a couple of months ago. In the same time I also watching Kamen Rider Kiva series which getting more interesting after episode 18. On top of these, I'm starting on House season 4 which is still addictive as usual. The reduction of his old teams into recurring relatively minor characters makes me cherish every small scene they have with House.

If the series is not enough, I still have 2 Bleach movies haven't touch yet. They're movies, anime movies not the series. But if situation permits then I shall start proceed with the series as well. Just watch till episode 40.

Other than this what else I can watch? Maybe if I finished them all I shall rerun House season 1 and 2...haha~

Bush - The Aquaman

In the wake of the inauguration of United State of America's 44th President Barack Obama.

Let us revisit the inspiring moment of former President of the US, George W Bush...

Hmm...so apparently Bush is Aquaman, the superhero with the least usefull skill - talk to seafood!

Yeah, they appreciate you more for your jokes and your end of term

The Last Son of Krypton VS The Dark Knight of Gotham

The Last Son of Krypton VS The Dark Knight of Gotham

Ask anyone about superhero, what's the answer you will get? Most likely Superman. Superman being the first superhero that has create a whole new genre in comic book industry as well as in electronic media.

Ask anyone to name a few superheros, other than Superman, you may get Spiderman, Batman and Hulk etc. Among this few superheros, which is the oddball? It's the Bat. Reason, nothing super about him. Here I define super as anything that none of the human being in this world can or possible to achieve. Supe have super human strength and can fly on earth. He can even BBQ you chicken wing with his eyes. Spidey can climb on wall and have spider-sense, and a bad boss. Hulk is like a modern Jekyll and Hyde, and green with super flexible trousers. All these none of the people here can do. But there is a possibility for a real life Batman.

What is super about Batman? Super intelligent, super rich and super resourceful. Any billionaire with several years of training on almost all discipline ever exist can be a Batman. Difference is few has the trauma Bruce Wayne ever has.

A lot of people like Superman, I like him as well, but I love Batman. He to me is more real, more humane. The Big Blue is but a too perfect boy scout. He is the kind of person that when he recite a moral code he is practicing and expect the people of Earth to follow suit, he actually mean it and we actually feel OK he speak of it that sincerely. If a fellow earthling talking about uphold the justice and serve the humankind, we all get goosebumps cause we know it is fake and we really feel like lynching that guy.

Superman, really super, out of the world. We do enjoy reading or watching him save the day and battling not so interesting villains (except for Lex Luthor and Brainiac), there's really not much to look into. Therefore, even I know there is a whole arc of story about the death and resurrection of Superman in the late 80s, and the complication comic book priced rather cheap, I don't bother myself to buy and read them (for the time being). My rational is, if I want to read some nice fighting comic, there is always Dragonball. No one can make fighting comic as cost efficient, as engaging and cinematic as Japanese mangaka.

Batman is different. He has a background we can identify or at least has the empathy. We know or read a lot about people lost their parents in accident, in crime, in disaster, but how often we heard about people being the last of its kind from his exploded planet?

We understand the motivation of Bruce Wayne. In fact what he do is exactly what we imagine we will do if we are as rich. How many time have we swear that "If I am filthy rich, I will so and so and so..." when we stumble upon obstacle or tragedy?

Batman is dark, and somehow people interested in dark character. People like Hannibal Lecter more than Forrest Gump, Darth Vader has more fans than whinnier Luke Skywalker. In Batman we can see all possibility that may fall on us, doubt, fallen, restless, guilt, fear, loneliness etc. Negative emotion has more obvious effect and memorable, thus when we read about the dark mind of the Dark Knight, it reminds us that we are only human.

Sometime I think Batman comic is a bit Zen like. We know the obvious solution for Bruce Wayne's personal problem is to let go. But he can never do that, because he is too much attached to the world around him. Just like most of us, we can never let go most of the time. Reason being, we afraid to lose what e already have to venture into a realm that has too many variables. Despite how bad situation is we stay, because it is better to have a bad one, than to have none.

Just read online that Bruce Wayne no longer Batman, and Batman is dead in the 6th issue of Final Crisis. I do not know if this is another of DC's stunt / scam like the 80's Superman's death and Batman back bone being broken. But if you ask me, I will rather have Superman dies for good, but still, what can be more human than being finite? Maybe someday Bruce Wayne should really die.

Mr & Mrs Tan Tit Wei alas

Mr & Mrs Tan Tit Wei

December 27th 2008, the marriage of two of my close friend that I have known for almost 10 years now. From comrades of the same society in school, to friends, and this two from friends to lover and now husband and wife...something that none of us will ever imagine in our very first encounter.

Jacob with Sook Yen the Bride and Tit Wei the Groom

Words can never describe how happy I am for them, so, regardless how tiring I and the rest of the gang were on their wedding day, being buddy, usher and giving any help that we can, we or at least I m more than willing. I know it's a bit corny, but I'm just a little disappointed I gave not much help, haha~!

The couple with the 'heng-dai' convoy

I know there will be change, but I hope it is for better. It won't be like it used to, it will be a new form of the gang. Well, I'm anticipating our next gathering.....

The Gang

P/S: Well since they got a house of their own, isn't it a good idea to parasite on them for our activities? Wahahaha~

This is just so beautiful

A Brief Study of A Retarded Guy's Pick Up Lines

OK, am boring on a gloomy Sunday evening and what can be a better entertainment than making fun of some retarded in the net?

The below conversation is an exchange between a retarded guy and Siowgirl, a fellow blogger. I just copy paste it from her blog without permission lol!

Bold - Retarded guy
Grey - Siowgirl

Italic - My comment


y u so sexy one? (obviously the idea may originated from her MSN avatar but that is not important, a casual observer will notice, he asked "why" rather than making a remark which suggest he want the girl to know he notice she being sexy and want she to tell more why is is sexy, with the hope that she may make some 'suggestive' remark. from this we can safely say that he wants to do her...only.)

=.=
whr got

(but her reply is not the best he expected)

got la... (interpreting that she may be a little shy and as usual, retarded like him will think that the more he praise the girl, the happier she will be and she will like him more.)

nop (abrupt end, nice move)

can u gv me a hug? (retarded question to be asked online, poor follow up for the whole sexy thing. why not just ask "can I do you instead"? it is bolder and ballier.)
sure
(some cutesy emoticon) (ha~! he must expect her to ask how to hug online, so that he may suggest to meet up or something.)

haha,y u so cute? (obviously, rather speechless and run out of trick. May think, how come my usual trick on juvenile victim does not work?)

ask my parents
ask god (rather usual style from this girl...although I don't think she is religious)

haha!if u continuse like this,i will love u deeply (thinly veiled "I'm going to get you" so that he can keep on making suggestive remark, but using "haha" to disguised it as a joke if he fail which will obviously be the case)
=.=''''' (again her usual reply)

scare? (meaning, what does she think? Is it working?)
i think u nuts (rather lame reply from Siowgirl, was expecting some uber sarcasm...maybe she think that is too sophisticated for this shrimp brain guy)

lolz
i'm trying to tackle u,u say me nut....make me so sad,want cry already la (corny line #1: compliment her beauty/sexy, corny line#2: show you are venerable/sensitive in love life...too corny and outdated even for a dork like me...)
ok
cry for me (yeah this more like it...quasi-evil line)

my heart soft soft one,u know?easy cry (heart soft and easy cry is not so related. Me cry easily even when watching film, but have a heart of stone, or maybe stainless steel. So this is another line of that retarded to show he is 'sensitive' and he is not a playboy whatsoever. Yeah, he's an idiot)
ok
show me ur tears (another good one)

bcoz let other ppl hurt b4 (guy with a sad past, he must think this makes him look pity and will soften the girl...)
u come beside,i let u see (if the two parties is not in the same room, this must be the most idiotic message.)

Conclusion: You know those uncles in those local cheap karaoke/pub that always flirt with those middle age waitress with make up thicker than oil painting? This is what this guy will evolve to be. You may curious how I know that these uncles do, well there is one such joint at the back of my house and have witness quite a few drama whenever I pass by it.

This guy up there, if he is a player, than his victims and success case will be some teenage girl with rather low IQ and adult with low IQ that has rather low expectation, easily satisfy with cheap praise or gift or promises. Those that watch too much drama that has totally being brainwashed by it and dreamt to have such so call romantic encounter has in those drama will fall easily in this. Imagine those lala you see in the street, those physically unqualified but still wearing as little as they can and showing the poor public their spare tyre and their very bad quality skin...yeah these are the group that will fall for this trick.

So sadly, this guy think that our friend here is a or at least, think like a juvenile lala. How sad that is.

Well, it is not hard to know what kind of person he is, just read between the lines and interpret using logic and common sense. Trick is, ask yourself, why he ask such question? use such words? make such remark?

Apply it all, and you will find how retarded this guy is....lol~!

Wedding Season...

So, last Sunday a friend get married.
One of his neighbours is getting married on the same day.
One of his wife's neighbours is getting married on the same day.

Close friend # 1 has a cousin getting married on the same day.
Close friend # 2 also has a cousin getting married on the same day.
Close friend # 3 has a relative getting married on the same day.

Friend's friend has a friend getting married on the same day.

On the 23th of November 2008, there are more wedding cars than police patrol car on the road.

On the 23th of November 2008, walked in customer to some major Chinese restaurant will be disappointed.

On the 23th of November 2008, you got a feeling that everybody is getting married and it is a hype now...getting married? No way.

In the middle of this, my company Annual Dinner at December 19th.

Looking forward, close friends (both bride and groom) is getting married one December 27th.

My cousin, is getting married the day after, December 28th.
Another cousin will be getting married on January the 4th, 2009.

Wedding banquet food is nice, provided you don't have them too often, say once a quarter will do. Now, I will be happy is they serve other stuff, say Japanese? Italian cuisine is fine for me as well...

But I can only hope...

This year end, wedding season. And none of them see clearly what they are signing up to...God Bless them...

Blog @ Starbucks

How ironic, I'm buying a Starbucks iced coffee but end up using Nando's Wifi...

Saturday, weekend. This should be my day. The day I get some rest, a lot of rest; since on coming Monday, when the whole country is enjoying the Deepavali holiday, my evil company's evil department needs the be operational! Damn.

I have no problem going to work, or work...whatever. But what I am truly don't light is the fact my right of getting rest, along with all other friends is robbed away and denied, just for the sake of some dude I never set my eyes on. Fuck it!

Funny part is, I do enjoy working on a public holiday. Especially when it is a National festival like this. Reason being, there will be a number of people missing then, the office will be rather quite and when I work like this, I won't feel pressured. It is peaceful, unlike the usual chaotic. And somehow, it makes me feel time travels faster this way...

I told a friend that this Sunday evening may not be a gloomy one, since Monday is off. But now it is confirmed that I won't be off, so I think the gloomy will still on, just not as intense as usual...

Bought hell lot of DVDs this two days. Can't control...maybe it is the effect of being pissed that I have to work on Deepavali...

Nice Plat Number

Look at the plat for the black Myvi. This is just a very cool plat number, I meant the first three letters. It does makes a very strong statement. I wich I can have that...btw, which state's plate number starts with a "C"? Please do advice.

I prefer CCB to PKM, cause the idea of PKM is just disgusting...CCB is nice, and some of our hot PM in the office always curse using it too...!

Smoking Biscuit: A Confession

Puffing...how many of you do? How many don't?

First of all, who does not know how to smoke? Read carefully, not asking how smokes, but who knows how to? Smoking is bad, but not so much of harm if trying to find out how it is like.

Surprisingly, despite being in a boy school, I never have peer pressure about smoking. Maybe I mixed with a better crowd i.e. nerds that will argues about the approach solving a add maths question that has the potential to escalate to a brawl. But I never argue, cause I never really bother doing it.

But eventually, somehow I've learn how to smoke, but luckily, I never get addicted. Maybe the addicting department in me already busy serving the caffeine. I took up the habit for a while though (hey, I bought a packet with my own money, I might as well finish it right?) and I drop it. Just like that~!

Recent changes, tragics and the whole bad feeling and chaos and shit in office, especially the kick off of the mountain thingy really affected my mind a bit. I don't think it is pressure, just some very negative feeling, and missing the good old days in the office where everyone knows clearly what they need to do and do it correctly. Peaceful days, very very relaxing days.

The departure of SM to a better opportunity means I have to double for two persons. This means that I have to actually work non stop the moment I switch on the Thinkpad until the sun is set and I have to make a choice of either stopping or collapsing. A month ago, it was hell.

Now I never believe smoking can makes one relax, unless if one is addicted to nicotine. I, however, am not. But the act of smoking can indeed to a certain extend help you calm down a bit. I am not a chain smoker, I am not even a smoker. As I told one of the Singapore colleague when she came here a year ago, I am a casual smoker. This mean I am not the type that need to get down to the lobby every one hour or so to fill in the lungs with shit. I only do it, once in a while, after work.

After a hard days work, the idiot-ness from the profession that I loath, and various other problems and issues that may or may not related to me really made me very jumpy, emotionally unstable and super hot temper. Now I do not want to bring all this negative feeling home, to my bed, so before the drive, I need to cool off myself. This is now the smoke comes it.

What is the act of smoking? Look and analyze the action. A guy standing or sitting down, inhaling and exhaling from an end of a lit cigarette. If we minus the cigarette, then it is just a guy standing or sitting, inhaling and exhaling, which means a guy standing or sitting there breathing and doing nothing else...NOTHING! I am an impatient asshole. If I got a mission (in this case, drive home, shower, eat and sleep), I can hardly stop and do nothing, but smoking will give me an illusion that I am doing something, but in fact not. How long it takes to finish one cigarette? Five minutes? Assume so. So, before I get home, I actually do nothing for five minutes, and in this five minutes, my system somehow manage to regulate back my emotion, breathing, heart rate and I just feel "hey, that's not quite a bad day after all"!

Smoking is bad, don't pick it up. October has a good start, and I do not need this little mood adjustment thingy before getting home, especially when the sky has the sun hanging there smiling at me when I leave the office....But I don't mind for some session every now and then...if situation permits...

<無題>

時間永遠不夠用,
錢永遠都是賺不夠.
麻煩永遠都嫌多,
工作永遠做不完.
真他媽的, 這是生活嗎?
一到五忙得像隻螞蟻,
周末有時玩得像個瘋子,
有時候卻閒得像對大便...
靜靜的,慢慢的,讓光影悄悄的溜走...
等發現時...太遲了...
已經是禮拜天的傍晚...
邪惡的星期一...
黑色的星期一...
可怕的星期一...
又捲土從來的...
他媽的上帝,
你敢馬非要用六天來創造世界不可?
幹嘛不用一天創造完畢, 讓後其他六天都休息?
你不是全能的咩?
怎麼不能呢?
你現在分明是在昆我們唶!
小喇叭!

Feel like sick

Hellish hot in the inside,
vision blurring, head dizzy.
Shoulder ache, arms and hands feel heavy.
Feet sore, legs weak.
Feel like vomiting, unquenchable thirst.
O~ shit, feel like getting sick.
I like a day off, but never like MC.
I have no back up, the idea of "no back up" will manage to make things worse,
if I ever get sick and MC.
I will get sicker, and MC may get longer.
And things will get even shittier then I am back.
Don't sick, don't sick.
The end is coming (hopefully).
Why weekend is so far away.
There better be some interesting news tomorrow.
Damn, better rest now...

Add Oil Everest Go! Go !! Go!!!

Friday's coming. For most, for me, it's the beginning of liberation, but for some, Friday is just a Friday. Everest kicked off, and now is the darkest part.

New system being put to use in actual production, how horrible, how uncertain it could be? Very. There are some that already joined the team since it's pre-production, there are some that are duped into joining in in the middle of everything, and there are some, that I do not know whether is brave, intelligent, energetic, keen or simply marvellous, choose to join in lately.

No matter in which phase, or under what circumstance you joined in, I salute you for your work. Because you are involved in preparing the one system that is said to make our life easier in the future, even if I doubt it is that magical. The part that you are in it is just superb, and makes me feel less useful, but more relaxing, which I prefer.

I think if I volunteered, I may be doing something out of the routine now. And whatever I might get involved with, I have a bad feeling about it. The recent change in the office, people leaving and stuff, makes me grumpier than usual. A careful observer can sense my sarcasm in my notes to other, especially the profession that I loathed. I am more impatient and will snap back if any of them come and ask me stupid question, which is the only type of question they know how to ask.

If at this time I still get myself involve in it, it will be either me having a stroke and my team half collapsed by mid-September, or I murdered all people that I see in office save for a few girls. Well, some are just gorgeous and need to be kept alive.

Tomorrow is the last working days of the week. For those that still need to comeback on weekend due to various reason, hang on. There will be darkness before dawn, and the night just happen to be longer, a bit.

Add oil!!!

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet? No we are not! Maybe next time!

Ah~man, not again?

Why not? You fighter sucks! He actually freaked out in the final.

Freaked out?

Freaked out! Totally not in control. You see the Chinese chap? He, is in control. He protested for the foul, he protested to the line, he initiated the shuttlecocks change yada yada yada. He acts like a champion, a leading world No. 1. What our boy did?

Well, like our normal boys did...

Yeah, just follow. Just agreed. Just let himself being bullied, being carried by the tempo of the champion. And like our typical boys, he has the inconsistency curse!

But what to do...fighting in other people's place....

What has it to do with it? That's the heroic part if he succeed. But being a pro like him, that result is ... is... pathetic.

Yeah, all the people's hope...

People's hope? That is the exact reason why he failed. People's hope, nation's price, being the first of its kind in the country...all is hoping, and all is giving him a fucking damn big pressure like never before...any one will goes down for sure. Why can't they put it this way: "You already got to the final, no matter you win it or not, you already are the hero, contributing perhaps the only prize for the country. Just relax and do your best in the final. Need not care too much of the outcome." Like this I get he can do better.

But...

But it is because the naive bugs like you that gave him the pressure, and affected his concentration. The reason for the lost is not his skill, but the very people he is representing... You all are pathetic, fuck off!

Elegos...

Don't tell me lie, for I will believe.
Do tell me truth, even if I will grieve.
Please let me drunk, escape the reality I live,
Let me just immerse, in my own make believe.
If I were to spend my life without thee,
There's only bitter, I'll never tasted sweet.
If I am to enjoy the morning breeze,
Let me have you, around beside me.
I may be a loser, and perhaps a creep,
I use my laughter to mask my weep.
Though I may be helpful when there's a need,
I am lustful and consumed by greed.
Or I may be playful and flushes you cheek,
I am vengeful, with all my evil deed.
Is there place for me in your suite,
Or should I search and wait, till I'm old and weak?
Until my hair white and my wrinkle is deep...
Until The Reaper comes and tug me to the sleep...