Saturday, 7 June 2008

A Letter To My Rakyat

My fellow people of Malaysia. We are always being told that we live in a very very good country. Our people have jobs, our kids have school to go, we have a vast amount of natural resources and we even have our won brand of car.

We, Malaysian, are stepping to the future. It will not take long before we finally be on par with the developed nation like the United States.

For those of you who are still not aware of how interesting our country is, permit me to tell you know.

We have our own source of petroleum. Thus, we need to raise the price to RM 2.70 per litre. This of course will burden our Rakyat, but if they change their lifestyle, they can cope it. First, they need to spend wisely, refrain from buying branded goods, which in turn reduce our consumer buying power and the cash flow in the market. Then, all the evil foreign brand will retreat from our country and closing all their outlets, and even plant. We buy non-branded cheaper product, in which the quality is not at all questionable.They are so good, that the manufacturer can save the cost of hiring QC to check and make sure the product is save. All they need to do is to pay relatively little amount of money to certain people of certain organization to get their little sticker and ta-da...it is proven safe! What's more it also come with a free gift of either chemical induce cancer or a domestic accident.

Apart of it, we can do car pooling. The more the merrier isn't it? Then we can safely leave our car at home so that our colleague or friend can always drive us work and home because they would not have any place to go after work. They are always free. In addition to this, you just bought yourself some hundreds of thousands ringgit worth of home-deco: your car in the garage or the open air car park. You may also get some free paint-scratching job from the neighbourhoods kid. Isn't it nice? And, like above, the car company will eventually knows this is no longer the place for them and again, like above retreat and close their business here. Isn't it cool?

In order to adapt to the new oil price, we must also take on the habit of planning our journey. Don't forget we have a very ingenious road and highway system. I believe I need not to remind you that our ex-Transport Minister is a billionaire and the ex-Work Minister that facilitate the contraction of these infrastructure has a SRP cert, and a wig! How cool is that? They build all this with a touch of nostalgic look that they almost looks like antique. The best part is they have quasi-organic pattern in the form of crack, and some are built to bring into life the adventure scenes we only seen on film or PS3 games like falling rock or collapsing bridge. Hey, we gonna get a new bridge every 5 years, isn't it cool?

Our highway is also very smart. They will always remind us that we have missed a turn (how considerate), because the signboard is always placed after the turn. When we see the sign, we must be grateful that it tells us now that we miss the turn, so we don't have to go all the way to the wrong direction just to find out that we missed a turn. All we have to do is proceed to go all the way to the wrong direction to find a way to U-turn. And again, in order to train their Rakyat to have a better IQ, they create a "fill in the blanks" quiz in the signboard. Of all the sudden, our destination which was listed in previous two signboards is missing in the third one. Then we must use our intelligence, to deduce based on the logic, direction, distance and common sense. But since our wigged-ex-minister has out-of-this-world logic, bad sense of direction and totally no common sense, the quiz becomes more depth and fun.

The raise of the oil price is also a chance for the government to demonstrate to us, that every action will creates a chain reaction and a ripple effect. It will be a matter of time when electric, water, food, drinks and services raising their prices. With this, the government also gives us an opportunity to participate in our local version of the very first high rating reality shows - Survivor MY: Money Not Enough. Isn't it cool. The most unique part of the local version is, the participants no longer starts with 16 peoples. It is played by 80% of the whole nation. The other 20% is actually our government and its family, son-in-law and their "dog" or "traitor" for some group of people.

So, given all the fact above. You Malaysian, can you not agree it is such a great fun to have a higher petrol price? Heard that they are developing an upgrade version where the price will varies from month to month, according to the international price. That will certainly make things more exciting, and there will certainly be blood. The people's blood.


Sekian,
Abdulan
(means very Du Lan)

2 comments:

kEllyz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kEllyz said...

if so, sooner or later we mai lose our jobs lor.. but how come in the press the arse say still can atract more foreigner to invest in our country.. where's the logic? they have no common sense..

amat memalukan!! memang pun babi punya otak.. i think babi are smarter than them..

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