After utilizing major part of my salary for paying bills and car installment, I added a sprinkle of salt, just to make thing worse. But I have to, need to.
I think I need to update my wardrobe a bit, so since CNY is around the corner and buying new clothes is consider a 'ritual' for CNY, why no use this as a chance / excuse? Although costly, but at least it is something I expected.
The unexpected is during a pilgrimage to the video store every time I go for shopping, I saw the DVD release of a film I yet to watch and wanted to watch. I also saw a DVD of a talk show I'm very interested in, and the new album from the only new singer I willing to buy the CDs. Ouch...but I vow that that is it. No more DVD or CD until the next salary.
In the middle of wandering around the mall I started to wonder what should I get for my parents? I'm a contracted employee and I will get my bonus not at the end of year, but rather slightly in the middle of the year (I started this job somewhere around middle of the year) so, I don't quite have extra money to give them some well..."Ang-Pow" and financial crisis lately does not permits me to contribute in buying CNY stuff for the family, save for some wine and vodka.
Thus I decided to buy them some useful gifts. My parents are those hardworking-had-tough-time-when-young peoples. So they never really like to spend of clothing. So sometimes buying things for them is rather easy. They are not choosy anyway. I was torn a bit in deciding whether to buy or not to buy for them. I can save quite a bit if I don't, but I buy anyway. CNY, once a year. When get back to work after CNY I only have to wait for another three weeks. I've done that too many times.
My parents has gone through very rough period. Now, if not because their children can support themselves, thing will still be hard to them as well. I believe our family's current status can live comfortably (our standard rather low) but for them, who has used to saving and put feeding us and them the first priority, buying something to decorate themselves is really something they have long forgotten how to do. If I don't do it for them, I don't think they will. Their standard price for clothes is still 20 years ago's. They can spend hundreds on household utility they may never use but still they don't willing to get a prize for themselves once in a while. So as a son, I have to do it, as a token of appreciation of all the joys of freedom they have sacrificed for the sake of their children, and I have to hide this intention in a CNY's pretext. Diu!
CNY and their birthdays are the only times I will do this. I know, it is already a cliche, that we can show our love by respecting and caring them everyday. But I'm a hot tempered asshole and nothing will likely to change it. Buying gifts is my only ways and I prefer this rather than giving cash. For I like the idea of thinking and deciding and considering when buying them something, there is thought and effort. Something cash lack of.
And so I unexpectedly spend a couple of hundreds of them. Now, I officially seal my card and shall not use it save for filling petrol. I hope I can make it. So help me God!
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